If you’ve been in SO many bridal parties you’d give Jane Nichols from ‘27 Dresses’ a run for her money, then you’ll have a lot to think about in planning your wedding, specifically the wedding party group.. 
Let’s face it –  it’s truly a wonderful problem to have….You are loved, cherished…and considered a confidant to SO MANY people! Way to go!

And at this point, you’ve solidified yourself as the friend who goes above and beyond.
You’ve traveled to a tropical island for the destination wedding…

You’ve paid upfront for bachelorette parties which (was absolutely amazing) but never got fully reimbursed for…

You’ve had to drive back to the hotel to get your friend’s forgotten reception outfit – and inevitably missed cocktail hour…

You’ve been the step in maid-of-honor after someone else dropped out…But you sure did nail the speech 😉
You’ve been on the end of the wedding party line of 14 people on each side! ….And though you were close with the bride(s)/groom(s) growing up, you’ve wondered plenty of times if you were only asked to even out the numbers on each side….

You are a good person….scratch that…..a WONDERFULLY BEAUTIFUL person who puts everyone else ahead of themselves.

And the good news is that all the brides/grooms you’ve supported will be there for you in their own way when you get married…Good follows good right!?

But as the friend who has so many friends – there will likely be a period of time after the engagement where you will probably worry/stress/panic about how you’re going to get through the wedding planning process, including all the wedding hoopla and activities ahead.
You’ll wonder what is the ‘right’ thing to do …

Should you ask the friend whose wedding you were a part of, but now no longer talk to? 
Do you actually want a super small wedding – with no wedding party at all? Or, are you ready to have the biggest wedding, bachelorette party and bridal shower that anyone’s ever seen because, you have been a ride or die for everyone else and want that for yourself!?

The first thing you need to do is take a step back to collect your swirling thoughts.

Envision each key day (bachelorette, shower, rehearsal, and wedding day prep) – And envision the whole day….from the moment you wake up to when you go to bed….

Where are you, and who are you enjoying the time with?What are some fun things happening? Who is laughing with you (or making you laugh throughout this day!?) What are you drinking/eating?When do you want your other significant family members joining your day? 

If you imagine all the fun, laughter, and love for the day leading up to these days – your answers are already right there. 

First, use that exercise to identify and articulate exactly what you want for each activity. 
Then as the bride – the best thing you can do is over communicate to your small group of people what you actually want. (Think maid of honor and/or your bestie/cousin/aunt/mom/mentor who will be part of each activity)

As the “giver” you are likely not used to having the attention, but its important to understand that you need to speak honestly and clearly about what will make you most happy. (Part of getting married is to celebrate all the life you’ve lived to get you to today…so it IS actually about you!)
FInally, if you want something, don’t phrase it as a question. 

As hard as this sounds – it’s OK to use “I” statements . It will not come off as selfish, but refreshing since you’ll be communicating to the people who want to be there for you! 
Ex. “Do you think that XYZ activity is going to be a fun bachelorette thing to do?” Vs. “I would love to do XYZ for the bachelorette activity”

And from there just have a few phrases in your back pocket to ensure you are ready for any random question/request coming your way from non-immediate family/friends….“I’ve given it thought and I am only able to….” “I am really looking forward to seeing you at the reception, until then, I am busy and unable to…”“Fiance/partner name and I have decided that…”

A bride with boundaries is a beautiful bride indeed! Enjoy your day, beautiful!